Blog #5- Rhyme and Reason
Good night
Don't sleep with bugs
Sleep tight
Don't let the bed bugs bite
For when they do
(they always do)
they'll leave you scratched and black and blue
Don't sleep with bugs
or men.
"Hello, Elwood, I was hoping you'd come up and enjoy the view and the waters. The plants are exceptional. They were recommended by a resident here at the Foxberry. Rose, do you know Rose?"
ReplyDelete1. What do you like about the topic sentence?
ReplyDeleteIt’s very straightforward and to the point, which is nice for the feeling of “infestation”
2. What do you want to know about them?
Why is she so direct about not sleeping with men?
3. One thing you are unclear about the character, give them a suggestion about how to clarify this.
Does the reference to scratches, black and blue, and men allude to being abused by a man? Maybe with more words this could be more clear...
4. Give them a suggestion on how to develop characterization.
I like the poem idea, but it doesn’t really work for a blog series where you need to develop the character unless you add more words to it. So, in the future, if you choose to write a poem as your blog post, I would make it a bit longer and go more in depth with the content.
Topic sentences: ‘they'll leave you scratched and black and blue’ I like the use of two ‘and’s instead of a comma gives a sense of character even though it’s just a poem
ReplyDeleteQuestion: What do the bugs symbolize when you say ‘don’t sleep with bugs’? Are they just bed bugs or other things as well?
Unclear on: What’s really happening, the ‘or men’ seems to add to Rose’s story a little bit but the poem is so parsed down that it is difficult to get much out of it
Suggestion: the poems are good, but you just need to have a little bit more in there
Really good sentence (plot moving, develops character, really nice sentence)
ReplyDeleteFor when they do (they always do) they'll leave you scratched and black and blue
Any question you want to ask?
Does Robert Randall have anything to do with the murder? What’s your connection to him?
Something you’re unclear about?
Heyo where’s blog 6
Also, in blog 4 (sorry to jump back) you say “dream of Stars” with a capital S… Jack Stars? What’s your relationship with him?
One suggestion to develop character
Since you have a “thing” with Aydar, maybe you two could work on something together idk